Well I apologize as we've moved and time has just been away from me. I promise to be a better and more consistent blogger from here on out. Things are good I suppose. I left my job working post partum to work strictly pediatrics at a Children's Hospital closer to our new home. I miss my coworkers terribly but I knew my future was in pediatrics and honestly I think it'll help me emotionally be stronger in this journey. I did fine for the most part, but the past few months when I'd be stuck working on the unit 3-4 nights in a row it would never seem to fail it would be as my god awful girl time was drawing near and I was emotionally unstable enough from hormones.
Now that we've moved we have updated our address on our licenses which means.... HOME STUDY time in the near future! Most of the followers who do know me personally know that we've chosen to go the foster to adoption route for a couple of years. We're still finishing up school and while I could probably fundraise out the wazoo, I would rather wait before we attempt an agency placed domestic adoption until we're better able to afford financially. The thought of being picked to be parents and not being able to come up with the thousands of dollars needed in a potentially short period of time breaks my heart. I hate that it all comes down to money. A baby is a person for pete's sake!
Sure I know foster parenting isn't guaranteed to adopt. While a reunification is hard to see, I also trust in the Lord that whatever is best for the children placed with us will be. Perhaps it's the healthcare worker in me but I know that their time with us will be filled with love and total nourishing and nurturing care and we will make their world better for them while in our arms. Even agency placed adoptions don't always pan out. I watch I'm Having Their Baby religiously. This season has had several ladies decide to keep their babies. Most who do not know much on adoption don't realize several of those couples lose that money they put towards that placement. I found that out at work when adoptions would fall through and other coworkers had no idea. Sure if it was a steady reliable parent situation you're happy but I also feel for the potential parents who missed out. They've essentially lost a baby they've hoped for and that money towards a future placement. It's all just scary business and that's what it comes down to for some agencies. It's business and money. If we get to the point we're considering agency instead I know one that is newer in our area that I really liked from a fertility fair and had a distant basically family member (aunt's niece on the other side) just get placed by them last weekend. I didn't even know they were pursuing and to find out they liked the same agency was comforting.
So yeah we've been buying things here and there. State of IN requires you to have the beds and car seats ready for home study to show that you could take a kid that day if needed that are age appropriate. It feels weird to have a nursery set like we're creepers waiting to steal a baby in the night but it makes sense. I find comfort in knowing that they require cribs and car seats that pass safety guidelines because I'm huge on infant safety! We are willing to take a child newborn-school age but not opposed to school age and older if it means a family would not be separated. We found the crib and changing table on Shane's classifieds at work and I bought a brand new mattress and bedding. We already had the travel system and it's good through Jan 2017. We know which 2 convertible car seats we want just have to buy them. We'll have my sisters bunk beds in the "big kid room" as we call it which is also going to be the playroom for now until we grow. Our guest room and nursery will be combined to be ready for either and the 4th bedroom will be my craft room, but totally a storage room and mainly the room for the cat box at the moment. It's the smallest and right off of our room so we can easily transform it to be a small nursery or guest room if we end up with more than one infant or toddler and need to reuse our space. Once it's all put away the house will be officially a home and ready. Guess I better sign off and get to work on some more of that! :)
Have a blessed weekend!
Friday, August 2, 2013
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