Oooooh Frankie. If only it were that easy. A friend had a status today that I was clearly able to read between the lines of and know this just wasn't her month so to speak. People were offering the usual "words of encouragement" and I say that loosely. No relaxing won't make a baby. No you actually do technically have to try if you want to make one unless you're the Virgin Mary. I get that people mean well but sometimes you just want to ring some necks. I thought I'd give her and everyone a good laugh though with a similar story I went through myself.
Sometimes I pick up work on other units in the hospital providing 1:1 care (I sit in the room with a patient deemed not safe to be left alone for whatever reason it be like line pulling, unsteady, inability to call for help, etc). One of my regular patients was staying on another unit and was requiring quite a bit of extra care including the gown and mask isolation routine. This patient is mentally functional at I'd say a 4 yr old level but actually an adult. A nurse I'll call "Midgey" since this patient did (heheheheh if you're reading this) was also in the room getting ready to pass some medications. Now this patient is so functional at a child's level we use baby toys and shows to entertain and distract because otherwise it's a gigantic crying mess. Out of no where this conversation starts:
Pt:"Miss Amy is your husband going to be mad you're staying all night with me tonight? Won't he miss you?"
Me: "Nope it's late and way past bedtime. He knows you need me more right now because you don't feel good."
Pt: "Miss Amy do you have any babies?"
Me: "Nope not yet"
Pt: "Why not? You'd be a good mama. Don't you like kids Miss Amy?"
Me: " I love kids just like I love on you dear. Sometimes the good Lord just doesn't bless us right away with babies."
Pt looks real serious: "Well if you don't have babies you just need to have some sex with your husband. Didn't you know you have to have sex to make babies?"
Nurse Midgey busts out laughing: " I just remembered I forgot something out there" and runs out laughing hysterically into the hallway
Me: " I don't think this conversation is appropriate for us to have anymore sweetheart."
Needless to say my patient cried hysterically and thought he/she was in big trouble and all I could do was be thankful that all that was visible between the mask and gown was above my nose because I'm sure I was 3 sheets of red and shocked as heck! I had to give some hugs and comfort and try not to laugh myself as it'd stir the situation up more. Then I had to wonder how someone I can't get to remember 5 seconds ago that I told them they could not get out of bed can comprehend what sex is. Goodness!
I guess my point is that sometimes people just don't know because they've never been there. Perhaps they feel inclined to say something, but aren't really sure what words are needed. One moment it could be frustrating as all gets and the next you're trying not to laugh because they are sincere and thought you didn't know any better and wanted to help with some advice, even the obvious.
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