Any who, I found this little quote picture and saved it to reflect on it. One of my friends from college posts things she loves about her day every day and I look forward to it. Whenever I catch people in a negative tizzy, I try to remind them that God doesn't give us what we can't handle and sometimes he is trying to show us that we were meant to travel a different path. Does it suck? Absolutely! Am I not jealous, angry, sad, etc when I see someone "undeserving" being blessed with a child? EVERY SINGLE DAY (especially on work nights) but that's because I am human filled with emotions and most of all blessed with a very big heart. The problem is when a very big heart is hurt it's an even larger injury to heal. So here I am stuck in this delay if you will.
Without the diagnosis, Shane wouldn't have put as much effort into a new job. Without the new job we wouldn't be trying to sell the house to move. Without moving or the new job we realistically have extremely no hope of becoming parents anytime soon. So while my life is stuck in this delay, I am grateful because perhaps we are being saved from a house that will have extreme damage for whatever reason, we are more excited and thankful to spend time together when it's only 1-2 days a week, and of course I learned that taking a job just to get a mortgage is NOT the answer and realized how much I absolutely love my job, even if it hurts sometimes. I do have blessings everyday and I am extremely grateful. In the near future this house will sell, we will have a new one to grow into, we will be blessed in some form to become parents, and I will be done with school once and for all to be able to transfer to a better job in Indy in the same area. All that matters is once the rain clears and this storm is over, ill be heading into my green flower filled meadow with nothing but sunshine and happiness. Oh and hopefully it's fenced so it can have a few dogs and kiddos in it :)
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